Who said I needed change?!

Unfortunately, last Friday was my last day at my beloved elementary school that I've been teaching at for 3 years! Those three years have been filled with a ton of memories and I wish that I could pack up everything about my school - even the building itself and take it with me. Yep, that's right folks, I'm MOVING! Moving down to good ole' AZ. Yes, I'm excited. Yes, I'm nervous. Yes, it's going to be dang hard and yes, I will survive.

 Arizona state flag...

I decided to take a leap of faith and go forward with my decision to move down to Arizona after living here in Provo for most of my life. I have loved it! I've been close to my family. I see my parents pretty much every day because among other things, they feed me. I have been working at the best elementary school in the whole world. I have so many great friends who love me and my craziness. But, that is all going to CHANGE.

I wouldn't say I'm a huge fan of change, but that is what makes people stronger and keeps people alive. I know I've made the right decision. I know it is the Lord's will that I make this change and I'm not sure what's ahead of me, but I know that whatever happens is for a reason.

So everyone wish me some darn luck. I'll keep you posted as life away from life as I know it takes a turn for the better! AND, don't worry I'm still so seriously single, which means I am totally going to find myself a man down there in those Arizona parts.

One of the Funniest Emails I've Ever Read.

P.S. This is about PMS.

Ok, so I got this email from my mom about a year ago and it is just so dang funny, I had to post it on my blog. Happy Reading! And, if "Aunt Flo" is visiting right now, this might make you feel a little better.

This is an actual letter from an Austin, Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you [freaking] kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house
just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of [Pete], pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending [bullcrap]. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . .

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

More funny stories from students...

So, at my school the PTA decided to collect recipes and do a recipe book for a fundraiser.  This is a recipe that one of my oh-so-adorable students brought in.  She wrote this on a 3x5 card:

"get some spagetti
put in a Dish
cook in the
micerwave for
1:30 when Done
put spagatti sose on it!"

Also, more funny stories:

Last year I was working with a student trying to get him to finish a writing assignment.  When I told him to keep going, he said, "I can't finish.  My brain's out of order.  My brain checked out. Teacher something is wrong with my brain."

I have a student who is 1/2 Brazilian.  We were having a lesson on biomes and this student was able to tell me on the first day what a biome is.  I was quite surprised that he knew.  When I asked him how he knew, another student called out, "It's because he's from Brazil!"

I love children.